It dawned on me the other day, I’m getting old! It’s probably already dawned on me, but I’m getting so old, I probably forgot that it dawned on me!
I am in good physical shape and healthy. I try to manage my vices, but thoroughly enjoy them! I simply cannot imagine getting old and NOT enjoying it. I’m almost on the back side of the 50’s. It’s easy to keep your body in shape and your muscles toned when you are a farmer. And I truly like getting up at 3 or 4 and going to bed by 7 or 8. My husband is full time farm and men always grow old gracefully, I have a day job so we can do this, but there is always something physical you can do here that stretches your body and your mind at the same time.
The problem is the FACE!!!!! When you look in the mirror and try to stretch your face back toward your ears and you don’t have enough fingers to pull back all the places- that is a tell tale sign. It makes me wish I would not have scoffed at sunscreen as a teen, or thought that baby oil would give me a great tan. I grew up in Washington State, but we were all still trying to “be California girls”. Gallons of Noxema, which I don’t think they even sell anymore, and then Vaseline, ICCCCCCCCCK. Trying to pull back all the places just makes you look like an alien, so plastic surgery is out. Botox is not an option because I use my face to communicate! I still keep looking for and spending money for that dewy fresh moisturizer that will take 10 to 20 years off my appearance, when I really think it comes down to olive oil. I think about gaining 5 or 10 pounds, but wonder how I would get it from my butt to my face!
I placate myself by telling myself that I have smile lines and they are a part of my personality. True I do smile and laugh a lot, but sometimes I look at some of those lines and think, “I’ll tell people those are smile lines….” In my heart I know that some of those lines are “worry” lines, and some of those lines are “putting up with things I hated lines”. Spent way too much time doing that!
The fun thing about all this, is I really do not care! My face is like a fly I can swat at. It bugs me I can’t look like my 24 year old daughter, but she is beautiful. I couldn’t look like Christy Brinkley either! It keeps coming back, but it’s not important enough for me to stop everything else in my life.
There is nothing I hate about my life anymore and age has given me the ability to put “things” in perspective. I am grateful for an almost grown family. I am happy where I am in this place that grounds us and feeds us each day, not just our bodies, but our souls. I’m madly in a love relationship for 20 years now, with a fabulous man who is my best friend and love of my life. I can get up in the morning and NOT do my hair, and NOT wear makeup and go outside and feel good because it’s cool and damp and yesterday was so darn hot. I can wear what ever I want, or what ever I don’t want. You only have to spiff up for company, or work or if we’re going somewhere. I am finally, the beautiful me, and I have wrinkles on my face!
It’s almost like riding a bike for the first time, or driving your first car!
You can bet I will be one of those little old ladies with no filters in the end. Probably scaring children showing them how I can pull my face back with all my fingers!