15 Feb Tue 2011
Translating Hog Marketing Talk Redux
Due to a request, here is a republication of one of my more ironic posts from 2 years ago.
Yesterday I got some high profile pork sausage at the local co-op. The pork came with its own brochure, which I read to my wife this morning over coffee. We had such a good time yukking it up, I thought I would share it with you. DISCLAIMER: I raised purebred Hampshire hogs back in 1965, so I know about pork. I am also quite peeved about the rise of branding. Anyways, here are some of the brochure claims with my translations.
[Their pork has a brand name] "Our pork is given that name because every pig on our farms is free to go outside to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine!" TRANSLATION: Our pigs live in sheds and they root around outside in their pen.
"[The brand name] houses are specifically designed to provide comfort and pleasure for our pigs. TRANSLATION: They have dirt floors.
"All pigs have free access to food and water courts, are free to lounge in the spacious deep-bedded areas, or bask in the sunshine at their leisure." TRANSLATION: The pigs are fed with self-feeders so we don't have to slop them twice a day. The pig sheds have straw bedding. I used to do the same.
"[The brand name] houses are also designed to 'breathe' freely and naturally with open sides." TRANSLATION: Our hog sheds have had the windows knocked out. As my ag instructor used to say, "You can throw a cat through."
"Translucent curtains provide protection from harsh weather while still allowing fresh air and sunlight in at all times." TRANSLATION: We have plastic up over the windows, but it has torn off in places.
Well, after my little exercise in marketing translation, I just want to wish these people well. The pork was actually okay and I will probably buy more. We don't eat much pork anymore, but I do like sausage once a month or two. What Toni and I found hilarious was the gentrification of pig farming. I am surprised they didn't mention their "pig spa." TRANSLATION: We run a hose out into the dirt and turn it on once in awhile so the pigs can lay in the mud.