Great Expectations

On a forum where I'm a member, I asked when was a good time to send turkeys to be processed.  The response I got was, "When you get tired of feeding them, and when they get mean."  I'm pretty sure this person wasn't giving the same quality of care to her birds that I do because mine all got along so well.  Overall, they were, and are, and exceptional flock.  I did divide them last week though.  I wanted to give the Toms plenty of room so they wouldn't start fighting.  Since this is our first year and we're doing a lot of reading and studying, I knew that crowded birds are unhappy birds and this creates problems.  Plus, our goal is to provide the best environment possible so some extra wing-space was definitely in order. 

At first the turkeys were bewildered when I moved half of them to the other side of the barn into a stall that we had converted into a turkey pen.  This new group called to the other turkeys, gobbling and drumming their wings and making their loud, chirping call.  I felt pretty bad about it. I mean, they were hatchlings together, they chased cherry tomatoes together... they were family!  Thus ends my fantasy following today's lesson.

It gets dark early now plus we've had some rainy afternoons and the turkeys hadn't been outside for two days to just roam around and eat whatever it is they want.  I took out the batch that I had moved and they immediately trotted over to their former pen and began calling to their old pen-mates who were currently closed up in the barn.  I had planned to let them out later.  But, hey, here's a good idea!! Why not let them all out together and then split them back up afterwards when it's time to go back into the barn?!

So, I file the second batch of turkeys out of the barn, through the gate and into the yard.  As I think about it now, I don't know if I thought they might waddle over and and hug each other with their wings or nuzzle beaks. Mostly, I wasn't thinking at all!  I was soon brought back to reality because very quickly, two of the biggest toms put on their best displays, puffing up their chests, flaring their feathers and strutting around.  This was followed by an eye-to-eye (literally!) sizing each other up and then pulling and poking at each other. Oh great!  Normally I use a pole to move the turkeys along when they're outside... same idea as a shepherd's staff ... and it works wonderfully - usually.  I stepped between the two who started the whole thing and behind me, I hear more puffing and hissing.  Dang it!  Two more, no wait - 5 more - are at it and since when do hens fight?! Girls, please!

Naturally, I was being over confident (typical!) and had them all outside on my own. Originally, it had been a brilliant idea, of course.  So, now I am scooping up the hens as quickly as I can and putting them in the pen... wait, which group does this one belong to? Uh-oh!  I'm not sure who goes where right now!  In my brilliance, despite a sincere desire to make my feathered friends happy, I didn't stop and think this through - AT ALL!  Not one bit.

By separating the flock, I had created two new groups.  By now, they had re-established who the top bird was and who belonged to whom.  Now, by shoving them all back together, I had upset the entire balance again.  If I could have had some music, this would have been the Turkey version of West Side Story and the big rumble scene.  So, there I am, scooting confused turkeys all 'round the yard trying to figure out who goes where and trying to keep them from killing each other, quite literally. 

Here is a tip ladies (and probably gents), DO NOT think you can wrap your arms around a Tom turkey and keep his wings from pulling free and beating the heck out of your face.  I am pretty strong and capable and can tell you that after trying this not once, twice or three times (try six!) it does not work!  You have to squat over and shove their feathery rears where you want them to go.  In the end, we were all exhausted and everyone was puffing.  I am afraid to go out to the barn in the morning for fear they've all died of heart attacks (also quite possible).  Everyone begrudgingly accepted their dinner and fresh water but were clearly confused and mad.  I ended up breaking them into three groups now instead of two.  Finally, I turned out the barn lights early to force everyone to calm down, went inside and fell into a chair. Wow!

This is a problem I made for myself by projecting people feelings onto my birds.  In doing so, I could have created a real disaster.  Turkeys ARE a jolly bird and pretty happy but their social make-up is not that of kindergarteners or puppies.  They may have heard their old pen-mates across the barn but had forgotten who they were entirely.  When I surprised them all with the sudden re-introduction, this was my own ignorance and the reunion didn't make any of us happy in the slightest.  To top it all off, as I'm walking out of the barn at the end of my little adventure, one of our chickens, Chicken Patty, who is very vocal and very bossy, chewed me out the entire way.  Even the chickens knew it had been a stupid idea. Geez.  The woman who gave me the smart advice from the forum - she definitely would have known it was a bad idea.  

Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goeth before a fall."  Yes, it does. Amen.